Farrakahn Feminazis Unite! - When Falls the Coliseum

Published 2001
When Falls the Coliseum


Farrakahn Feminazis Unite!


Admit it: You're a racist, sexist pig.

Now shout it out on the streets: "I'm a racist, sexist pig!" Smile warmly at passersby when they glance askance your way.

After your shouting session, let out a huge sigh of relief. You've finally accepted yourself for who you are. You've embraced your true nature, and announced it openly. You've "outed" yourself to the world, and it feels good. It feels damn good.
Now, in your newfound liberation as a prejudiced porcine, chant this mantra: "Black people are imperfect. Women are flawed."

It may be difficult at first to intone this seemingly irresponsible incantation, especially if you are black, female, or both. But with time, you'll adjust. You'll even come to like chanting it, to regard it as your pet mantra. You'll buy it morsels and take it for walks and even let it curl up with you at night. Pretty soon, you'll merge with this magical mantra, and the two of you will become one.

When you and the mantra are one, admit this: Shirley Franklin, Atlanta's first-ever black female mayor-elect, is a loser.

Acknowledge that Franklin is no different in personality from any white male poltician.Concede that her breasts and skin tone do nothing to enhance her character.
Holler these sentiments into the ear of the person sitting next to you. "Shirley Franklin is a loser! Her breasts and skin tone do nothing to enhance her character!" Heave a hurricane-sigh of relief. Strongly embrace your inner pig.

Confess that Shirley Franklin has a political persona as flat and narrow as any caucasian man in office. Scream this to anyone who will listen.

Assert that it's more offensive to suggest that women are exquisite gems than it is to say that women are fallible creatures. Declare that to criticize a person's skin color is to demean them, but to criticize a person's actions despite their skin color is to humanize them.

Exhale deeply. Hug your pig.